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The Hidden Lesson in Projection: It’s Never Really About Us

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“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

For most of my life, I didn’t fully understand what projection was. I just knew I kept becoming the problem.

I was “too much.” Too intense. Too emotional. Thought too deeply. Spoke too plainly.

Again and again, I was blamed, misunderstood, and cast out for holding up a mirror to things no one wanted to see.

But in my forties, I began doing …

A Quiet but Powerful Shift: How Slowing Down Transformed My Life

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“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast—you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” ~Eddie Cantor

In today’s hyper-connected and fast-paced world, slowing down isn’t just rare—it feels almost countercultural.

For years, I tied my identity to productivity. My self-worth hinged on how much I could accomplish in a day, how many boxes I could check. The busier I was, the more valuable I believed myself to be. But that constant need to perform left me mentally and emotionally drained, disconnected not only from others but …

You Don’t Have to Be Strong All the Time

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“Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to ask for help.” ~Unknown

We live in a world that praises strength—especially quiet strength. The kind that shows up, gets things done, and rarely complains. The kind that’s resilient, dependable, productive. But what happens when the strong one quietly breaks inside?

“You are a superwoman!”

“You’re so reliable!”

“You’re the glue that holds everyone together.”

I wore those compliments like badges of honor. For years, I believed them. Not just believed them—I built my identity around them.

I’ve always been a multitasker. A jack of all trades. I managed work, home, …

When the Body Freezes: On Love and Grief in Midlife

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“I was constantly seeking a balance between mourning what’s already been lost, making space for the time and moments we still had left, and making sense of this complicated process that felt like my heart was split between two contrasting realities: hope and heartbreak.” ~Liz Newman

There is a quiet heaviness that begins to settle into many of us in midlife.

It doesn’t announce itself with drama. It slips in through unanswered emails from an aging parent, through half-slept nights spent wondering how we will ever afford live-in care, or whether that one fall they had was the beginning …

When Friendship Is One-Sided: Letting Go of Someone Who Was Never Really There

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“Finally, I realized that I was never asking too much. I was just asking the wrong person.” ~Unknown

Friendship should nourish the soul. And in my life, for the most part, it has. I have a small, longstanding circle of friends steeped in a long-shared history. We’re basically a real-life, thirty-five-year-long John Hughes film.

However, every now and then, a hornet in disguise has buzzed into my life and stung.

He was one of them. A bad sting.

Love Bombing

Right off the bat, knowing him felt amazing.

I was still reeling from the aftereffects of living with an abusive …

Finding Balance Through the Full Spectrum of Emotion

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“As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, the wise are not shaken by praise or blame.” ~The Dhammapada, Verse 81

Some moments lift you like moonlight. Others break you like a wave. I’ve lived through both—and I’ve come to believe that the way we move through these emotional thresholds defines who we become.

By thresholds, I mean the turning points in our lives—experiences so vivid, painful, or awe-filled that they pull us out of our usual routines and bring us face to face with something real. Some come in silence, others with sound and …

The Song That Surprisingly Brought Me Back to Life

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“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ~Maya Angelou

I used to believe that healing and personal transformation required a lot of effort—writing page after page in a journal or getting up at the crack of dawn to carry out a morning routine, to name a couple.

When I moved through a phase of numbness—or the tunnel of darkness, as I now call it—it was frightening, and there seemed to be no end in sight. But one song found me at the right moment and changed everything.

In …

How to Be Well in Unwell Times

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If you wake up anxious these days, you’re not alone. Between the news cycle, global uncertainty, and the chaos of daily life, it can feel like the world is spinning faster than we can catch our breath.

I’ve been feeling more anxious than usual myself lately—partly because of everything happening in my own life, and partly because so much in the world feels beyond our control. And yet, even in times like these, it’s still possible to find a sense of calm—to create a small pocket of peace within yourself that isn’t so easily shaken by what’s happening outside.

That’s

…

The Enormous Cost of Being the One Who Holds Everything Together

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“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.” ~Virginia Woolf

There’s a kind of work in our society that doesn’t come with a title or pay, and for a long time, I didn’t even notice I was doing it. I just lived inside it. It shaped my days, my stress, my identity.

These days, I see it more clearly. I can name it now. I don’t only live inside it, but I still return to it—especially as a parent, especially when things stretch thin. The difference is now, I pause. I reflect. I ask myself if I have to

…

Full Circle: Reclaiming the Me Who Felt Most Alive

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“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” ~T.S. Eliot

In my early twenties, I packed a backpack and boarded a plane alone with a one-way ticket to Southeast Asia. It was a move that baffled my father, inspired my friends, and quietly terrified me.

I was drawn by something I couldn’t fully articulate at the time: a craving for freedom, truth, and a kind of belonging I hadn’t yet known. What I didn’t realize then is that this two-year …

The Trauma Keeps Talking—But My Voice Is Now Louder

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“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place.” ~Beverly Engel

After the abuse ends, people think the pain ends too. But what no one tells you is that sometimes the loudest voice isn’t the abuser’s anymore—it’s the one that settles inside you.

It whispers:

“You’re broken.”

“You’re used.”

“You don’t deserve better.”

And over time, that voice doesn’t just whisper. It becomes the rhythm of your thoughts, the lens through which you see yourself.

That’s what I mean when I say the trauma keeps talking.

Living with the Echo

…

The God I Lost, the One I Found, and the Faith That Changed Me

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“I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God.” ~Rumi

There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that happens when you realize some of your prayers are going nowhere.

There’s a painful silence that follows unanswered calls. Yet, despite the ache, I can still feel the pull to pray to the God outside of myself—that old reflex to place faith in something bigger, some invisible force in the sky, who, apparently, can make things happen magically here on Earth.

But it doesn’t always go that way, does it?

I prayed my cancer would go …

The Grief No One Talks About: How to Heal After Losing a Soulmate Pet

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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ~Anatole France

When my cat Squiggles died, I didn’t just “lose a pet.” I lost a part of my identity, my greatest source of comfort, and my sense of home.

Squiggles was the one constant in my life through every milestone, every heartbreak, every version of myself I grew into over the course of two decades. I had her since the moment she was born, and for almost twenty-two years, Squiggles was my constant companion, my emotional support, my soul-kitty.

But no matter how much I prepared …

The Weight of Regrets and the Choice to Live Better

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“It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes—it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better.’” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve lived long enough to know the difference between a mistake and a tragedy. Some of what I carry falls in between—moments I wish I could redo, things I said or didn’t say, relationships I mishandled, and opportunities I let slip through my fingers. They don’t scream at me every day, …

From Pain to Peace: How to Grieve and Release Unmet Expectations

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

Before 2011, I had heard many spiritual teachers talk about “accepting what is.” It sounded nice in theory, like good mental information to chew on. But it didn’t feel embodied. I understood it intellectually, but I wasn’t living it.

Then I attended a weekend intensive with a teacher I deeply respected, and something in the way he explained it hit deeper. It wasn’t just talk. The essence of his words turned a spiritual idea into something I could start to live.

In that talk, he shared a …

Why You Can’t Relax and How to Let Yourself Rest

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“Rest and be thankful.” ~William Wordsworth

A few years ago, I caught myself doing something that made no sense.

It was late evening, my kids were asleep, the house finally quiet. I’d been counting down to this moment all day—dreaming of sinking into the couch, wrapping myself in a blanket, maybe even reading a book without distractions.

But when I lay down and closed my eyes, something inside me lurched. Within seconds, I reached for my phone. I didn’t even have anything urgent to check—just mindless scrolling. Five minutes in, I was already half-sitting up, wondering if I should fold …

How Self-Portraits Brought My Messy, Honest, Beautiful Self into Focus

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“And then I realized that to be seen by others, I first had to be willing to see myself.” ~Anonymous

In a world that teaches us to be visible only when we’re polished, productive, or pleasing, I found something unexpected on the other side of my camera: myself.

But not the filtered version. Not the composed one or the “smiling because I’m fine” version.

I found the person I’d forgotten—the one who had spent years loving, giving, showing up for everyone else but rarely turning any of that tenderness inward.

I didn’t pick up the camera to take pretty pictures. …

3 Tools for Burnout Relief (That I’m Using Right Now)

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**This post contains a giveaway. Scroll to the bottom to learn more!

Burnout has been on my mind a lot lately, and that’s saying a lot since my burnout brain has trouble focusing these days.

Between working from home while raising two young kids and traveling back and forth across the country to spend time with a sick loved one, I’ve felt stretched in more directions than I thought possible. I know many of you can relate to the constant push to keep going even when your body and mind are begging for rest.

That’s why I’m excited to share …

The Power I Now Carry Because of My Illness

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“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For years, I thought strength meant pushing through. Getting on with it. Holding it together no matter what. Not showing weakness. Not needing help. Not slowing down.

Even when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, I wore that mindset like armor. I was determined not to let it define me—let alone derail me.

But eventually, it did. Not because I was weak. But because I was human. And that was the beginning of a different kind …

The Truth About My Inner Critic: It Was Trauma Talking

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“I will not let the bullies and critics of my early life win by joining and agreeing with them.” ~Pete Walker

For most of my life, there was a voice in my head that narrated everything I did, and it was kind of an a**hole.

You know the one. That voice that jumps in before you even finish a thought:

“Don’t say that. You’ll sound stupid.”

“Why would anyone care what you think?”

 “You’re too much. You’re not enough. You’re a mess.”

No matter what I did, the critic had notes. Brutal ones. And the worst part? I believed every …

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